Today was a hard day from the moment I woke up. (*note* I woke up for the second time this morning since little man is eating about every 3-4hrs) I'm tired. So very tired. I'm almost 3 weeks from my c-section for baby boy number 3! Postpartum healing hasn't gone as well as I thought. It's going, and after a few stumbles, it's been nothing but moving forward. For DS3 he's been amazing. Even though I'm up multiple times a night, he eats and goes right back to sleep. I'm just having a hard time adjusting. Yesterday (Wednesday) was the first day though, that I was flying solo. Parenting 3 boys under the age of 6. I wasn't going to have help again until Friday. That meant nights and days were all on me. I've been feeling more ready than I thought but still not 100%. Thankfully my OB has been amazing and staying on top of my pain management, so I had medical reinforcements if need be! I had many things to accomplish and honestly, Wednesday went as well as it could've gone! I got my stuff done and survived til bedtime. Barely survived all the night feedings, but survived none the less. Coffee was so glorious this morning! I had things on todays agenda and I also got those done, but by 3pm my body started to give out. I knew I'd over done it and pushed too hard. But that certainly doesn't stop life from happening. I still had children who needed to be fed, changed etc. I decided to allow myself a pain pill and some rest. After resting about an hour, I was trying to find motivation and energy to get up and start dinner for the two olders. Just then a sharp pain hit me! Then, the baby spit up a crap ton. All of himself, his blanket and boppy. Great! Perfect. He's been needing a bath for days now but I kept putting it off because I knew there was no way post c-section that I could hold him at the kitchen sink or sit in a bath with him. There was no avoiding it now. I tried to see if I had any reinforcements of able bodies. The only ones I could come up with were my two older sons. I called my DS1 in to see if he was up for the challenge. I asked him if he'd be willing to sit in a bath with DS3 at the risk of being peed or possibly pooped on. He responded with perhaps the sweetest response I've ever heard in my life. "Anything to help you out, Mom." So simply and strongly put! I had just finished pumping breast milk and needed to wash some bottles. I told him it'd take me a minute to get ready and he went off to play. I went into the kitchen and proceeded to work on washing the bottles. My body. It ached. SO very much. I cried. I cried over washing bottles. Over the Spaghetti O's and Beans & Weenies I knew I'd be feeding my children for dinner because it was all I had left to give. I told myself "It's okay! Cry! Let these tears out while the kids aren't around to see you weak. Then you suck it up and you hold your head high." And I did just that. I was weak over a few baby bottles. Then I marched back to the bedrooms and managed to get through the rest. I was bummed that my DS3's bath wasn't with one of his parents, but what better alternative than an older brother? It was an amazing bonding experience for all parties. I gave DS2 the job of Photographer because I was NOT missing this moment. I knew I ran the risk of not getting a single good photo because DS2 is 4 years old, but least I'd have half pictures. haha! Everyone had a job to do and everyone did great! Both olders were extremely helpful all the way through the end. DS2 didn't even complain when I apologized to him that he had to have Beans & Weenies. He hates Beans & Weenies, but he said "It's okay Mom! Thank you for dinner!" God has blessed me. Beyond measure! I have 3 very healthy children. He's given me the strength to train them to be helpful and loving up and to this point. God gives us all Grace. He gives us grace and strength to get through times that are rough. And these are the stories we need to share as fellow Mommies! Stories that let other Mom's know "You're not alone!" Stories that let others know just how weak you may be some times. And I was weak today. As I sit typing this the baby is ready to eat again, I haven't eaten, the olders aren't ready for bed yet and my body it hurts. SO BADLY. But I keep pushing through! I won't give up because these are the days that define you as a Mom. These are the times that God gives you grace for yelling at your kids because you're short tempered. So Mom's, I'm sharing my story as encouragement to you! Raising children is NOT for the faint of heart. Not even one little bit. But if God has blessed you with children, push through! Because it's what HE needs from you!
I had to share a few pictures from today! I'd also like to note that we ventured out on our first errand. So I'll share that picture as well!
Hang in there Mommies! It isn't always like this, and when it is, remind yourself that you are NOT alone and you WILL survive!
