Scars

I decided to finally blog about something that's been on my heart and mind for awhile now. Scars. I have so many physical scars. There's stretch marks, gall bladder scars, port scar, c-section, heck! I even have scars at the back of my throat from my tonsils. I definitely have a flawed body. Even at my most self conscious though, scars have never bothered me. My port was more sensitive only because, uh, cancer! Nothing I ever predicted going through and a scar for something that last a week and caused me much pain. Like, literally, pain. But it didn't take me long to get over having that scar. I see and hear about products or even just oils or vitamins that you can put on your scars to heal them so you have clear skin. I just find myself not interested. I think maybe my port scar took a bit longer to get over because people can see it. Unless I wear a turtle neck, it's always visible. I can hide all my other ones. So after thinking about it, I started to wonder WHY it doesn't bother me.  So much does about my physical appearance so you'd assume that scars were automatically one of them. I got my first stretch mark around 13 years old. Puberty kinda happens fast and sudden. haha! After thinking about it, I realize I'm actually proud of my scars. Every one represents something. Yeah sure, most of them aren't fun times. My c-section scar and belly stretch marks are easy to love. Because they brought life. I feel so honored and grateful to even have those scars. I know so many women who haven't experienced pregnancy and want to. I know so many women who've struggled to bring life into the world period. God chose me! He chose me to carry 3 lives and bring 3 lives (even if not my planned way) into this world safely! (well, we're still working on the 3rd, but we're close! haha) What an honor! And a blessing! Oh sure! I totally could've rubbed lotion/creams on my belly all pregnancy to prevent the marks, but I just had zero desire. I found my heart desiring to see those physical imperfections. Every single time I look at them, they bring nothing but good memories for me. There are other scars that bring bad memories. For example the suffering with my gall bladder. My goodness. Awful. Awful awful awful! So much pain. So much time away from my newborn first born child. So many trips to the hospital. My first ambulance ride which was very scary to do alone. Just not good feelings associated with my gall bladder. However, once it was out, oh man! Bliss! I felt 100% better immediately! Yet theses scars that are from pain, don't bother me one bit either. Again, I think I struggled a bit with my port scar because my port was literally in there a week and it caused lots of pain for me as well. However, I still don't have an issue with those scars. Why? Because I went through them! I like the reminder that I'm stronger than I ever imagined! To me, even for the "bad scars" its a blessing. God chose me to have these struggles. He chose me to go through cancer. Over the years you start to learn small reasons why God allowed you those struggles. I know I've been able to help so many friends out with cancer or gall bladder issues. I've been able to advise them! It's been a blessing to me, honestly. God allowed theses scars to happen and they make me feel loved by HIM. Then there's silly scars like my belly button ring scar. haha It just makes me laugh. I love piercings. Always have. I've always gotten them for myself. But I was also young, unwise and poor. So I paid some guy to pierce my belly button. It took FOREVER to heal and heal it did. Literally, as it healed it pushed my ring out. The entire thing healed up. hahahaha! That's what happens when you do things and you're broke. The guy who pierced me, pierced it too shallow. So I had a belly button ring for all of 6-8 months. And it left a pretty nasty scar. It just makes me giggle how much youth plays a roll in your life. All of the scraped knees and bruised elbows during childhood, and a belly button ring is how I get a scar! The shortly after that I sliced my thumb open on a tuna can! First one in my family to earn stitches! I was an ADULT! 6 stitches folks! Yup. Things like that just make me giggle! So the long and short of this, is a plea to all of you ladies who are self conscious about your scars! Please don't spend money trying to get rid of what journey God has blessed you with! Be proud! Good, bad, stupid, it doesn't matter. It's all a part of your story! It makes you who you are. And even if you get rid of them or prevent them, it's still your journey! Accept it! Embrace it! Love yourself! All of yourself!