Hi, my name is Hannah! I'm a flake! I break commitments. I forget to respond to messages/texts. I can't STAND phone calls! Seriously, like.....who can even HEAR on those dang things? I'm wishy washy about park play dates. Basically, if I met me, I'd steer clear! I mean, do I even want friends? Who knows! How did this happen? Who even am I?
I have never been the type of person to be forgetful. Maybe forgetful of past events. I mean, to be honest I can't remember most of my childhood. I have always been good time Sally! Down for fun! Living in the moment! Who cares about consequences? My friends are my life! That was me! I've always made friends easily! I never even had to try! It's just who I am! My friends wanted me some where, I was there! My friends needed their spirits lifted, I'm the gal! It's so deeply ingrained in me that to be honest, I hadn't realized how much a part of me it was. What happened? Children! Children happened to me! Along with my charismatic, good time me....I've always wanted to be a mother. So I was thrilled when it happened! I just had no idea the impact having children would have on my entire life! Naive, yes! Absolutely. haha! I just never thought my priorities would change this much!
I'm recently the mother of 4 children. 9 years, almost 8 years, 3 years and 9 months! Three boys and a girl. I also am a military spouse! In addition to that (go ahead, call me crazy...I am!) I homeschool! Currently 3 of the 4! Those are the statistics on me. They are also everything that consumes my life. There is so very much I want to do with my life! Seriously! So many things! I mean for example, I'd love to blog more. I'm surprised I have the chance in this very moment. Actually I'm neglecting my 9mo who is currently babbling and talking in her crib. My 3yo is currently yelling no and arguing with my 9yo. It's chaos at all times around here! The past 3 years my husband spent most of his time deployed with little to no communication. I was in survival mode. Truth be told, I HAD to have friends because I literally couldn't survive by myself. But things got even worse. Not because of friends, but because my children grew, their needs changed, some things fell to the wayside. (Let's be real, my body being number one on the wayside list!) We recently moved to a new home/duty station and I'm trying to tackle this new life head on. I'm making schedules for our family, keeping up with chores, dealing with appointments, learning disabilities, discipline....basically EVERYTHING. It's made me prioritize more. Meaning my priority is now my children. I mean, come on guys! It's four against one! Those aren't great odds! Lemme tell you, if you don't believe me, I will GLADLY invite you to spend a few days with me! haha! You'll see! Anyways, I digress. I've realized how much of a bad friend this makes me now. I don't answer your texts because I'm in the middle of schooling. By the time I'm done schooling I forget there were any texts to begin with! I HATE phone calls! Why? Because I can NEVER hear!!!! Dude! I get it! Sometime phone calls have to be made! But come ONNNNN!!!!! With 4 tiny humans in the background making noise, I don't hear a good 60% of what's on the other end. It's nothing personal, I literally just can't hear you! When I get long messages on Facebook...Oh goodness. I basically don't read it all! I'm sorry! It's not that I don't want to know! Totally do! But I don't have the time to read that long of a message! Have you heard of Marco Polo? Well, let me tell you! If you are a busy Mom, Marco Polo is for you! You can record long video messages (no time limit and you don't have to hold a button) of you saying whatever the heck you need to say...or crying! And the other person can watch it at their leisure! It's FANTASTIC. These days that's how I get my friend time in! How sad is that? A delayed video message, in which I will be doing dishes, laundry, yelling at children, crying...whatever...that is the best tool in which for me to get social time. Guys, I'm not a flake because I hate you! I'm a flake because currently God has called me to raise these 4 beautiful children. I'm a flake because they are more demanding than you! If you start peeing your pants, begging me for a snack and falling out on the floor crying, chances are I'll give you more attention, because clearly you need it! So, friends, all of this to say....I love you! I love that you understand me. I love that you don't judge me. Please keep doing it! I will eventually not be flakey! I will eventually not seem such a hot mess. Okay! You got me, that's a lie! I'll always be a hot mess! But I won't always be a hot mess with 4 little children in tow! I'll take you out for coffee in about 16 years and treat ya to dinner! I mean, if you can hang with me through all this chaos, you deserve coffee and dinner on me!
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