Military Isolation

When I married into the military there were certain things I expected. 1) To move around all the time 2) To never have my husband around and 3) Raise a family on my own. Those were the obvious things I knew! I also expected our life to be a sacrifice. It takes sacrifice to dedicate your life to the United States. Through the years (especially before marrying into it) I prayed about whether it was the right decision for me and after I was married whether it was a continued right decision. The answer has always very clearly been yes. However, there are some things I just didn't think about. My friend recently wrote a blog post that was amazing! How there should be Basic Training for spouses too! You should totally read it here! "I'm talking What-To-Expect-When-You-Marry-Into-The-Military kind of basic training."  YES! That! For awhile now I've started to realize just how isolating being a part of this lifestyle can be. I'm starting to realize how people might perceive military spouses as snooty. I mean, of course there's always one who really is. Or more than one. hehe But it's extremely isolating when you move away from all your family and friends and life continues on without you. Everyone still gets to see everyone else. Except for you. Everyone takes selfies and has parties. Except for you. Everyone gets to witness developments in life (weddings, birthdays, children etc). Except for you. You're forced to witness it all through once a year (if that) home visits! Technology is great! Except when you're feeling isolated. It just helps harbor feelings of resentment and jealousy, which might make you put walls up more than the average person. And oh sure! There's always the line "Well, you chose to live this life." Well, yes! That's correct. We did. However, who else is going to do it? Someone has to sacrifice at some point. It's not the perfect lifestyle by any means. But someone DOES have to do it. I think constantly about whether I'm just living this life because I have to or because I actually believe in it. And the answer is that I believe in it. Despite the isolation and living without a spouse for 50% (more like 75%) of the time, I feel it's our family's calling. I feel we live it well. But that doesn't mean there's never any down days. It doesn't mean it's always a walk in the park just because "You chose it.". I really do wish that there could be a Basic Boot Camp for Spouses and heck, even children. It's tough. You move to a new place. You have to find a new life. I've never had much success with relying on other military spouses. It's very rare. I have been blessed to make 2 very close and dear military spouse friends here where I'm currently stationed. I cling to those relationships. I also have a few long distance relationships with other spouses. At the end of the day, those are the people who will get you through. When you're crying because you're so far from home and everyone is doing stuff without you. They will get it! They won't judge. They won't take it to mean you don't want to live this life any more. It's really not for the faint of heart. There are serious times when I have to just completely break down. I'm coming up on a transfer season here in less than a year. I'm nervous. I know what to expect. Moving. House Hunting. Movers. Boxes. Traveling. Hunt for a new life and more isolation. It really does make my heart ache how much I miss out on back home. How much I don't know certain things simply because I'm not there. How I would give anything to fly there for a weekend just to be a part of a few selfies and have fun too. But with the down days, do come up days. I just tell myself that it WILL be okay! I'm living a life of meaning and it takes sacrifice. Sacrifice is NOT easy. And I'm extremely grateful (and cling) to the people who make efforts to befriend me. People who are from the state you're stationed in and won't ever be moving. People who KNOW you'll be moving away eventually but who still choose to allow a friendship to grow and strengthen. I love those people and I'm grateful for them. So even if they don't exactly understand what I'm going through, it still brings me comfort because they didn't have to friend me. But they did! And even if it took 2 years to build a life here....I still built one. I still appreciate every second of it. Military life. The struggle.