So often, so very very often, life gets hard. It knocks you down. Frequently! Every adult knows this! Even children sometimes experience this. It never turns out as planned. You can plan and dream away, but life will never go as planned. My personal experiences have been quite a few. The main one? Cancer. Ugh. That 6 letter word. Just six! That's it! Six simple letters can make someone come crashing down so hard and their whole world change! Everyone has a different experience with that six letter word. Some barely have an experience at all! Some die from it. Some suffer for such a long time. Six letters. That's it. Six.
There's things that people don't tell you about that six letter word. They don't tell you that cancer affects everyone. Not just the person who is ill. I had a blood cancer (Leukemia) and it felt like my blood cancer crept through everyone I knew like a blood vessel. The heart just kept on pumping and pumping and pumping. Keeping that blood flowing. Keeping those cancerous cells going and flowing! When we found out I had cancer it wasn't just me dealing with it. It was my husband. Soon as we knew, it spread to him. *Pump pump* What was he going to do? How was he going to be there for me AND take care of everything else? I can't imagine being in his position. I know I'd do it gladly, but I honestly can't imagine how he held it together. I mean, sure, we both had our breakdowns at certain points in time. But how he kept up with everything, I will honestly never know! But he did! He was there for me in ways I didn't even think possible! The amount of gross things he had to do for me, I will never be able to repay him for it!
After my cancer spread to my husband, it then spread to my children. *pump pump* "Where's Mommy?" "I wanna go home." "Where's my Daddy?" My children were very young at the time. A mere 3 and not even 2. We'd gone on vacation which is all fun for them! And then Mommy left and just didn't come back for a long time. They were scooped up and put into a "new" home. A home in which they'd only ever known as a visiting spot. Yes, they loved being with their Grummy and Grandpa. No doubt about it. But where's their Mom and Dad? How do you explain to littles? How do you tell them in words they understand? It was difficult. We basically just told them "Mommy is sick. Daddy has to work and take care of mommy. So you're gonna stay with Grummy and Grandpa until Mommy feels better." They would reply with an "Okay." But I can't help but think in their minds, they still felt abandoned. We did see them, as often as possible. But it's not like I was any where close to normal. I mean, they'd visit me at the hospital. It would be a mix of cuddling in bed watching something on the small tv. Or eating lunch. Or napping. Or sometimes? Just playing on the floor with toys they'd packed.
We always tried to keep things as normal as possible. A huge reason they lived with my parents is so that they had a more consistent normal. After we were back home they again had to jump into a "new" normal. Settling back into our old life wasn't quite what we'd expected. Mom was angry and crazy all the time. There also wasn't a lot of touchy feely going on. I'm sad to say that. I wish I didn't have to admit that...but it's truth. Due to not feeling 100%, I just didn't want to be touched most the time. In fact, touch most of the time, angered me. But I'm happy to say that they hung with me. They continued to love me and the more time passed, the more my oldest grasped the concept of "Checking on me." He really did take on more of a protector roll. He matured a lot the year after cancer. Always looking to see what things he could do to relieve my stress. He still very much is my number one guy! My main support!
After this six letter word spreads through you children, it then moves towards extended family. *pump pump* Parents, siblings, grandparents, uncles, aunts.....My cancer didn't stay limited to me, or my husband or my children. It just keeps pumping through veins. My parents stepped in without hesitation and honestly without question. They swooped in and took my children on as if they were theirs. I've never been an extended family member of someone who has cancer, but I know that I would do anything in my power to be there for them as much as I could be! I'm not sure what went through all of my extended family members minds, but I'm sure it was along the lines of what went through mine. Fear. Worry. Hurt. Just to name a few. Six letters is all it takes for you to identify with those feelings and more. SIX.
Finally, the last group that the six letter word passes on to is friends. All friends. Church friends. Neighbors. Acquaintances. *pump pump* Any person that fills whatever leftover gap you have in your life, that person becomes a victim of the 6 letter word! When you are on your death bed (quite literally) it's amazing the amount of people who show they care! You also end up with surprises in finding out those who you thought were friends, never really were. I would say it leaves you heartbroken, but honestly, when you have a near death experience I think you just learn to appreciate the here and now. At least that's how it seems to be for me, personally. But regardless, you find out who cares for you and surely and steadily the cancer continues to creep through.
Cancer is an awful six simple lettered word that is so entirely powerful. It's uncontrollable, the victims it claims. But you know another powerful six letter word that can overcome anything? SAVIOR! God, is my Savior! God is strong, mighty, lovely, divine, relief, I honestly could probably go on all day. But all of those words have six letters. Six letters create something even more powerful than cancer. Even more powerful than the victims it claims. God! God brought me through all of this life. HE created me for HIS purpose! And all of those things and facts are stronger than any six letter word! God created me and the blood in my veins. *pump pump* The blood that almost killed me can also keep me alive! Cancer. Six letters. Savior. Six letters.
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