A Great Day....

So last week was rough for me. In all senses of the word. Physically, emotionally, spiritually in all ways, it was just bad. It just seemed as though God was pushing me past my limits. Of course, HE wasn't! HE knows me better than I know myself. I continued to cry my heart out to HIM during my struggles! As faithful as HE always is, HE taught me new things and helped me realize more ways I can change! (Spoiler Alert: I'm not perfect! ;-) ) Monday when I woke up, I was so determined to make this week better. Earlier in the week God was like "Nope! YOU can do nothing without ME!" I heard HIM. So I prayed. I asked him what HIS will was for my week. Of course he can't send me a list of to-do's or anything, but I knew he'd direct my paths if I stayed faithful to my responsibilities HE's given me. So I did. I trucked away at mini mundane tasks and He kept guiding me to play catch up. Fast forward to Wednesday night, my body felt run down and just exhausted. Not surprising given the past weeks turmoil. I thought to myself "Well, you're still behind, you better spend all day Thursday catching up." What I didn't realize was that I also had to play catch forward. haha My siblings were coming to town and I had to do the chores I would normally do then, earlier. I woke up at 6a.m. My first thought (Praise be to God!) was "Let's start this day off! Prayer, devotion more prayer!" So I did! I ended up falling back asleep for a little bit. But when I rewoke I felt energized and ready for the day. Friends, I encourage you so much to start your days with God. It just sets the best tone for the rest of the day! Anyways, from the moment my feet hit the ground I worked. Up, down, inside, outside, I mean I did it all. I got the kids up and dressed for the day. Got laundry started for the day (In my house we do laundry all on one day!), fed the kids breakfast and just kept moving from there. I made a to-do list for the day of all things I didn't do last week, some things i didn't do this week and other things that have just been sitting there waiting for me to take care of them! I did things like cleaning fans, changing all bed sheets, cleaning off my nightstand, hanging a picture that had fallen off, taking apart and putting away the baby swing that has just been taking up room waiting for me to put it away. I mean, the list goes on! Friends, I kid you not when I say I didn't eat, I just kept moving NON STOP! From 7am-8pm. I only sat one time and it was no longer than 30minutes. (Not including the time I sat to write  hand written notes that have been needing to be done) I just worked. Of course I had my kids help me. The older two would take turns watching the baby while I worked and worked. As I was working I thought about how far God's brought me. In the past I never cleaned my house, I never even changed sheets. Sounds gross...but totally was bad at that. And now God's given me more children, a bigger house and schooling to do. I find myself with less time than I normally have. I see how much time I thought I didn't have back when I only had one child. I see how bored I was! I see how much I needed to turn to Jesus more! Friends, you cannot talk to God enough. It's not possible. Throughout my working, I thought about how much joy it would bring my husband to come home after a rough week at work and not worry about doing any chores or worry about a lack of clean house. I knew he'd immediately feel at peace! I knew my children were learning good traits like working hard, organizing etc. I was doing back breaking work and still praising God and so happy to teach that to my children. Today was a GREAT day! Today I accomplished all that and more on my to-do list. So much so, that it feels like magic that I got it all done. But it wasn't magic! I tell you, God is powerful! He knew I needed energy and motivation. HE sent it directly to me! He allowed me to get this house under control and do extra. HE knew I need to feel successful as well! And here we are, just under midnight and I'm just now settling into bed for sleep! I even managed to squeeze in a blog post, a little potty training, a facetime with a best friend and a facetime with grandparents celebrating potty training! If you've had a bad day, week month, heck! Even a year! Don't worry my friend! God is so much more powerful than your own agenda! I promise you! Start your days off asking God what HIS plan is for you for the day! You won't regret it, I promise! :)

Social Media Detox

Okay, hang on! Before you freak out! It's really not as bad as it sounds. I promise! I'm on day 13 of it and it's really honestly enjoyable! January 1st, after encouragement from a friend, I decided to delete my Facebook and Instagram accounts (I don't have Twitter or Snapchat and I'm not really ever on Pinterest) from my phone! I didn't disable the accounts. I just simply don't have them on my phone unless I get on the computer or pull up the web browser on my phone. A couple of months back I was thinking about doing this. Honestly, I'd say it's been on my heart for probably over a year now. I simply lacked the courage to do it! For those who don't know, my husband is constantly deployed. Three months gone, two months home with day working and twenty-four hour duty in those two months (not including any work related schools/classes/travel). I spent the majority of my nights, alone. Social media has been an amazing tool to use to fill that void of loneliness! Especially on Facebook. Besides my friends being on there, I have Mom groups. Need advice? No problem! There's a Mom group for that! Homeschooling! Need advice for that? Yup! Got a group for that too! What about a Christian group of women? Yup! On Facebook! Oh, you need to sell something? No problem! Facebook and Facebook local groups makes that easy as well! It's amazing! So many people bash social media for how much time it soaks but I'm here to tell you that it's also an amazing tool!  For someone who spends many of her nights alone with very little communication from her spouse when he's gone, it's been an amazing thing for me! Not to mention I can easily update close family and friends (even when we don't live near them! #militaryprobs ) with the simple upload of a photo onto Instagram that magically also displays on your Facebook! I mean, seriously though! Social media gets a really bad rep for soaking up all your time, but I really feel it has more to do with WHAT you're doing on that social media. Of course with everything, comes negatives. The negatives are that most people don't reflect their Facebook as their true life. I mean, it's called the highlight realm for a reason! People tend to only post the good stuff. Awhile back, I made a vow to post the bad stuff too, and wouldn't ya know it? People attacked me for it. It seemed my Facebook was too whiny, or I said too much, or it was too 'tmi'. I mean, sometimes you can't win. But when I think about social media and what it means for me personally, I think about how I feel when I'm on it. I think about how often I'm on it. I think about what God says I should be doing with my time. I think about "am I tending enough to my responsibilities (aka children/husband)" I consider whether I'm being the type of person that God calls me to be. Loving, kind, honest, hard working, teacher, etc. I've honestly realized that I do need to spend less time on social media platforms. I do NOT need to update my "status" constantly. It's okay if people don't know my every thought. I need to make sure that when I'm on social media, my responsibilities and duties are done. It's totally okay for me to have social media. However, I think every now and again, it's completely worth it to detox from it. To take a break! To live in the moments that Christ gives us! Each moment is a blessing! We are put on this earth for Christs' benefit! Not our own! I use my social media, sure as a place to brag and post about my life, but the majority of what I do is make connections with like minded Christians, witness to new Mom's, share my knowledge with homeschooling, life, military and even surviving cancer. Social media is an endless platform for so much good! But it's still good to take a step back and "smell the flowers!" It won't hurt you! The first week detoxing honestly flew by. Mostly because of holidays and my husband finally being home. After the first week I did struggle in my moments of boredom because my habit was to turn my phone on. But honestly, waking up to no notifications is amazing! Seriously! Have you ever tried it? I highly recommend you starting your day off with simply waking up! Lately, before I open my eyes, I say a prayer. I pray that God bless my footsteps throughout the day, that He clearly guide me where I go and what I say. I pray that I show more grace and kindness to my children. I pray over every weakness I have. It's highly refreshing! I have gone on Facebook three times via a web browser. One time to show my husband a picture, one time to email someone and one time because of an event I needed to get information for! That's it! Each time I've simply logged in, done what I needed to do and that was it! I'm almost halfway through the month and I find myself sort of dreading the demands social media comes with. Notifications to check, comments to respond to. hahaha It does all get so overwhelming. Not that I don't appreciate the love people show me! I totally do! But it can pull your focus away from what you should/need to be doing. So, all of this is to say, I've found things to do with my moments of boredom. Open up my Bible app on my phone! Blog! Email/text people who I haven't made as much effort to lately. Clean my house. Play a game with my children. Honestly, there's endless things to do! And it does give your brain a good workout, trying to find ways to stay busy! But I promise you, it's totally worth it. This wasn't about bashing social media. Of course it has it's flaws like everything else! But take a step away every now and again. Reevaluate your life. Who you are! What path you're on! Truly, sit and reflect! I bet you'll realize things you've never realized before. I also bet you'll start noticing things in real life that you've never seen before. Social media is totally fabulous! But real life is too! Don't forget to see it!

Monthly Chore Charts...

In case you don't know me and happen upon this article, let me explain something to you. I am NOT OCD however, I definitely love organization and keeping things in a routine. However, due to life and how it usually goes....so much falls to the wayside. I mean, let's face it, we're not Jesus. We will never be perfect, we will never be on top of everything 100% of the time. That's not God's desire for us! We wouldn't need HIM otherwise. I'm not gonna list everything that has prohibited me from being on top of my housewife game but I will tell you that I've never been one to do EVERYTHING housewife wise, that I need to. Which isn't exactly characteristic of me. I enjoy organizing even though mentally it overwhelms me at times. I finally decided (with some persistent pushing from someone) to conquer my weaknesses and channel it into productivity. Guys! I am here to tell you that it's life changing!!!!!! LIFE.CHANG.ING! Personally for me, I have to write things out. My husband hates it. He thinks everything can be done easy peasy on a computer. I love computers, but I'm more traditional. I process better with good 'ol fashioned paper and pen. So when you see the picture I'm going to add at the end of this blog post, don't judge. I'm sure I misspelled some things and some things you may not understand. But I cannot recommend enough figuring out a monthly chore chart that works for you. There are so many online templates that you can just plug in the chores you want to do when. Or you can do what a friend of mine is doing, print out a blank month, laminate it and then add things as you want! I chose to hand write mine and pre-assign chores to my children and I. I also chose to star things that are only once a month and to write out a separate quarterly chore chart. In addition to doing this, I recommend posting it where everyone can see it. My boys have gotten used to it in just a matter of a month! Every day they wake up and say "What's today's chore, Mom?" My oldest can read, but why read when you can just ask mom! ;-) I have to say that I love many things about this chore chart, but one of the biggest reasons I love it, is because it gives us some purpose. Some way to feel accomplished at the end of the day even when chaos is in full swing! It gives my boys a purpose and sense of accomplishment as well. When my husband is home, it's easy for him to see what's going on for the day without even asking! Seriously, it took me quite awhile to do this, but I can't believe I lived so long without it! You can copy mine, or find something that works for you! Do it! Seriously DO IT! You won't regret it and you can thank me later! :-)

Neighbors and Coffee...

Neighbors and Coffee, two words that go together! I am a military spouse and in the almost 9 years of marriage, this is the first time I've lived in military housing. I'm very grateful because my experience has been amazing. We've lived here going on 2 years. My house is attached, by a garage, to one neighbor and on the other side is a decent sized lot/gap between that neighbor. It's been an awesome blessing because I've become so close to both of those neighbors plus one across the street and another on the same side of the street as me but two doors down. That's 4 amazing neighbors. How does that happen? That you become blessed with 4 people who you see day in and day out! It's a miracle, honestly! It didn't take us any time to find out that we all (minus one!) LOVE coffee!!!!! Like, LOVE! So it's become a thing that we have get together's at each other's houses for coffee. Even the one who doesn't love coffee will bring her hot chocolate! We just sit around and chat and laugh over hot cups of beverage. It doesn't happen as frequently as I think we'd like. But it's so nice to have that in a place where you make your home! Growing up I've dealt with neighbors who were aggressively nasty. I remember my parents having the cops called on them and visa versa. It was awful! Because the reality is that you can't control which neighbors you get. So I thank God that there's coffee. I also thank God that I have such amazing neighbors. Especially with a constantly deployed spouse, it's important to recognize that blessing. So neighbors and coffee, two things I'm extremely grateful for today! 

Target Therapy....

If you are a stay at home mom, chances are you love Target. Honestly, if you're a living breathing human being, you probably love Target. I truly can't fathom in my mind any more, what life was like before Target. What did I do with my life? Even when Target's first started coming around, I was far too young and unappreciative of it's glory! It took me spending so many lonely days doing nothing but changing diapers, cleaning bottles, finding binky's and potty training, to truly understand why Target is so amazing. Oh sure, Target is pretentious. You can call it that! I don't mind, because it's true! Target is slightly more expensive than say, WalMart. But yet, I don't care. I go to Target knowing full well that I'm going to buy something I don't need. But I simply don't care. At this point, I'm convinced that Target pumps a chemical or something in the air. Every single time I've gone in Target (even when it's crowded!!!!) there's an automatic calm that washes over me! I'm personally not one for crowds. I get such high anxiety even thinking about crowds. But it doesn't matter what condition Target is in, I'm calm. It's a miracle! I mean, to be honest, why WOULDN'T I shop there?? Okay okay! So they can be over priced and they make me calm. Is that a reason to shop there? No, my friends, there's more. Almost every Target as Starbucks! STARBUCKS! Come on, people! What could be better than shopping in a clean store, with cute products that are slightly overpriced? Overpriced, delicious, usually festive (Christmas time drinks, new year drinks, valentine's day drinks etc) coffee, of course! I mean, come on! I'm doing nothing but winning here. So okay, you're still not convinced? Okay! So there's over priced items, calmness, coffee...what more? Oh! I'm so very glad, dear Reader, that you asked! There's actually "Bargain" Section! Everyone is under $5!!!!! And seriously, guys, that section is hands down my favorite. You can basically get any gift for anyone in that section! They usually have a section or two dedicated to the upcoming holiday! But they have so many neat knick-knacks and odds and ends. But that are so much cuter and better quality than say, the Dollar Store! Okay, so maybe that's not your thing? Never fear, with the smooth riding carts Target generously provide us (seriously, have you ever found a dinky Target grocery cart?), you can cruise around the entire store on their nice shiny, clean floors and shop through Clothes, baby section, electronics, toys, household products, grocery, really anything your soul desires, I can assure you that Target has the answer! Even when I'm dragging all three of my hooligan children, Target is still the answer!!!! January 1st, I decided to take a sabbatical from social media. I deleted the apps off my phone and I won't get on them until February 1st. With the encouragement of a dear friend, I decided it was high time I did so! Today is day 3 and it feels amazing! Which brings me to the point of this post. Once I cleansed myself of social media, I felt the strong desire for a long stroll with Starbucks at Target with a friend. So I asked my friend if she would like to go on a Target date. Her response? "Absolutely!" (That my readers, is why we're friends!) We arrived at Target bright and early and as soon as we got into the store out off the cold, I felt my soul relax. We took our time, chatted and about halfway through our shopping, found out we were expecting a snow storm. It's okay folks, don't panic! Target is the answer! We continued our shopping adding in anything we might need for a snow storm! (Told ya, Target is the answer!) The coffee, the strolling, the conversation, my soul. It just felt complete! It also helped that for the first time in YEARS, I wore jeans! And cute boots! Yes, I dressed up for my date at Target! I feel like this was exactly what my soul was needing. And not having social media interfering also helped! In the past I would've been taking pictures and posting them to Instagram and Facebook. But I could truly live in the moment and just exist without pressure to post about it. It was absolutely incredible. So, my dear Readers. I encourage you to take some time away from your phone. Grab a friend that encourages you, believes in you and despite troubles of the world, still is positive, grab a coffee and head to Target! I promise you that you will not regret it! You will feel so much better! Also, I highly recommend doing something for yourself that you haven't done in awhile. Like wearing a pair of jeans! Folks, I promise! Just do it! Thank me later! ;-)

Had to snap a selfie to document the jean wearing! 

The damage wasn't too catastrophic! Especially for two people! 

Six Letter Word

Preface: If you don't know my cancer story, you can read it here. My Cancer Story!


So often, so very very often, life gets hard. It knocks you down. Frequently! Every adult knows this! Even children sometimes experience this. It never turns out as planned. You can plan and dream away, but life will never go as planned. My personal experiences have been quite a few. The main one? Cancer. Ugh. That 6 letter word. Just six! That's it! Six simple letters can make someone come crashing down so hard and their whole world change! Everyone has a different experience with that six letter word. Some barely have an experience at all! Some die from it. Some suffer for such a long time. Six letters. That's it. Six.


There's things that people don't tell you about that six letter word. They don't tell you that cancer affects everyone. Not just the person who is ill. I had a blood cancer (Leukemia) and it felt like my blood cancer crept through everyone I knew like a blood vessel. The heart just kept on pumping and pumping and pumping. Keeping that blood flowing. Keeping those cancerous cells going and flowing! When we found out I had cancer it wasn't just me dealing with it. It was my husband. Soon as we knew, it spread to him. *Pump pump* What was he going to do? How was he going to be there for me AND take care of everything else? I can't imagine being in his position. I know I'd do it gladly, but I honestly can't imagine how he held it together. I mean, sure, we both had our breakdowns at certain points in time. But how he kept up with everything, I will honestly never know! But he did! He was there for me in ways I didn't even think possible! The amount of gross things he had to do for me, I will never be able to repay him for it!

After my cancer spread to my husband, it then spread to my children. *pump pump* "Where's Mommy?" "I wanna go home." "Where's my Daddy?" My children were very young at the time. A mere 3 and not even 2. We'd gone on vacation which is all fun for them! And then Mommy left and just didn't come back for a long time. They were scooped up and put into a "new" home. A home in which they'd only ever known as a visiting spot. Yes, they loved being with their Grummy and Grandpa. No doubt about it. But where's their Mom and Dad? How do you explain to littles? How do you tell them in words they understand? It was difficult. We basically just told them "Mommy is sick. Daddy has to work and take care of mommy. So you're gonna stay with Grummy and Grandpa until Mommy feels better." They would reply with an "Okay." But I can't help but think in their minds, they still felt abandoned. We did see them, as often as possible. But it's not like I was any where close to normal. I mean, they'd visit me at the hospital. It would be a mix of cuddling in bed watching something on the small tv. Or eating lunch. Or napping. Or sometimes? Just playing on the floor with toys they'd packed.

We always tried to keep things as normal as possible. A huge reason they lived with my parents is so that they had a more consistent normal. After we were back home they again had to jump into a "new" normal. Settling back into our old life wasn't quite what we'd expected. Mom was angry and crazy all the time. There also wasn't a lot of touchy feely going on. I'm sad to say that. I wish I didn't have to admit that...but it's truth. Due to not feeling 100%, I just didn't want to be touched most the time. In fact, touch most of the time, angered me. But I'm happy to say that they hung with me. They continued to love me and the more time passed, the more my oldest grasped the concept of "Checking on me." He really did take on more of a protector roll. He matured a lot the year after cancer. Always looking to see what things he could do to relieve my stress. He still very much is my number one guy! My main support!



After this six letter word spreads through you children, it then moves towards extended family. *pump pump* Parents, siblings, grandparents, uncles, aunts.....My cancer didn't stay limited to me, or my husband or my children. It just keeps pumping through veins. My parents stepped in without hesitation and honestly without question. They swooped in and took my children on as if they were theirs. I've never been an extended family member of someone who has cancer, but I know that I would do anything in my power to be there for them as much as I could be! I'm not sure what went through all of my extended family members minds, but I'm sure it was along the lines of what went through mine. Fear. Worry. Hurt. Just to name a few. Six letters is all it takes for you to identify with those feelings and more. SIX.


Finally, the last group that the six letter word passes on to is friends. All friends. Church friends. Neighbors. Acquaintances. *pump pump* Any person that fills whatever leftover gap you have in your life, that person becomes a victim of the 6 letter word! When you are on your death bed (quite literally) it's amazing the amount of people who show they care! You also end up with surprises in finding out those who you thought were friends, never really were. I would say it leaves you heartbroken, but honestly, when you have a near death experience I think you just learn to appreciate the here and now. At least that's how it seems to be for me, personally. But regardless, you find out who cares for you and surely and steadily the cancer continues to creep through.

Cancer is an awful six simple lettered word that is so entirely powerful. It's uncontrollable, the victims it claims. But you know another powerful six letter word that can overcome anything? SAVIOR! God, is my Savior! God is strong, mighty, lovely, divine, relief, I honestly could probably go on all day. But all of those words have six letters. Six letters create something even more powerful than cancer. Even more powerful than the victims it claims. God! God brought me through all of this life. HE created me for HIS purpose! And all of those things and facts are stronger than any six letter word! God created me and the blood in my veins. *pump pump* The blood that almost killed me can also keep me alive! Cancer. Six letters. Savior. Six letters.

Birthdays and Deployments

It's been so long since I've blogged! I really have missed it. I always find myself thinking "Oh! I'd love to blog this!" but it's always among showering, cooking, schooling, raising children....you get the point. Now that the baby is finally a bit older, I've found myself with a bit more time than I had before, which brings me to the point of this blog!
MY BABY IS ONE!!!!!!!! I can't believe it! Seriously, it went so fast. I felt like by the time I finally had a third; a much awaited, long hoped for third, I knew how to appreciate every moment. I didn't sweat the small stuff. I enjoyed every waking minute. Oh yes, sleep deprivation was SO real! So was low milk supply. Pumping. Learning to balance raising three children on my own since Daddy is always gone. This new life we live now involves Daddy being gone far more than any of us would like! He deploys for 2-3 months at a time, home for 1-2 months and so on and so forth. It's awful! In addition to these deployments there's no communication. Sure, we can email him! But his responses are hardly regular! When we do get a response it's usually pretty short and leaves us starving for more. It's hard to say the least. I personally, miss his voice alone! Sure, I've learned to LOVE binging my own shows and hogging the bed, but I would give it all back without hesitation, just to have him back home! Today? Its our precious baby's 1st birthday and Daddy has to miss it all! We didn't celebrate really, because he will be home soon-ish! We have a party planned. But it was super emotional for me. Probably not so much the kids. This first year of my son's life has been challenging. We had to move one month after my c-section. We had to wait for a house to become available. Husband had to report to work before our furniture arrived at our home. The stress, the sleep deprivation. It was beyond awful. I lost so much hair. Meanwhile I was trying to keep everyone happy and positive! I was trying to figure out life again with a new baby. But this time without a husband and two older children who I homeschool. I'd be lying if I said I slid right into the life. I wanted to nurse for a year which proved to be far more challenging that I had predicted! It took me a long time to recover from my c-section. My milk came in fairly quickly, however, I didn't seem to have near as much as I had with the first two and didn't take advantage of! Plus we had moved to a new state during the summer and further south than we were used to. Getting used to the heat and humidity was a huge trial in regards to my milk supply! I found myself always drinking water and some how always being dehydrated. I was determined and stuck with it. I ended up exclusively pumping from month 3 on. I was so very grateful to be giving my baby exactly what he needed and loved. He grew, thrived and has developed into a handsome, intelligent, feisty, opinionated wee nugget. God allowed me to survive pumping and we have made it to a year! Needless to say, it's bittersweet! Today I've found myself flooded with emotions. Thinking back to walking into the hospital to birth him. The mass amounts of anxiety during the prep of my c-section. The emotions of seeing my new son. The pain of after birth complications. The extreme joy in seeing my family all together as a new family of 5. The healing. Every last emotion. Including recalling every emotion over the last year of his precious life. Thinking of it all there was one person there. One person who stood by my side the whole time. One person who, even though we've had our downs, has been the ONLY person I want to run to when I'm sick or upset. My husband. My children's father. And because of deployment, he couldn't be here today. With us, celebrating all of the emotions, joys, tears and fears. Not only that, we couldn't talk to him. He sent me a short email this morning, but when I immediately responded there was no response. (Normal!) Today I'm sensitive. Today, I've stayed off Facebook and watching everyone enjoy their weekends with their spouses. I've stayed busy. I've taken care of my house, children, really I found every excuse to stay busy. But I will definitely be going to bed with a heavy heart tonight. Tomorrow, I will wake up feeling stronger and better. But tonight my heart will yearn and ache. Yearn for the time that's flown by. Yearn for the baby who's growing so quickly right in front of my eyes. Ache for my love. A deep ache that I can't put into words because my soul is not complete. An ache because our family is not complete and is definitely missing a huge part. Despite the tears I've shed over this weekend, I praise God. I praise God because even when jealousy gets the best of me, I know HE has been gracious to me! I have a husband to miss! I have 3 healthy sons who bring me daily joy! Despite the tears, I will rejoice! Because deployments are hard but life gives you gifts, like birthdays! Enjoy your loved ones, friends! Hold them close! Appreciate your spouse who comes home every night! Reach out to a friend who's without their husband more often than you! Chances are, they could use a meal, hug, coffee, wine....really anything!