I am completely in love with our little boy! We still have yet to reveal it to everyone. So I'm typing this and you all won't be reading it until later. haha It's been about a week and a half now that I've been able to sit on this information. I was straight up sad (as per my previous blog post) finding out it was another boy. And overwhelmed. All along though, I was still finding myself being grateful that the baby was healthy! That's really what matters. However, I did take about 2 days to stop being as sad. Which honestly, isn't that bad! haha!
So Monday, I went for an OB check up. I knew I'd be getting an ultra sound just to check the baby's heartbeat. I was pretty excited. Well, when we started the ultra sound, baby was SO much bigger than just 2 weeks ago when I saw him last. I was amazed!!!!!! He actually looked more like a little person! He was sucking on his hand and my heart started going all jumpy! I got tears in my eyes and just at that moment, he turned and waved to me. Just waved. 5 tiny little fingers. I could count each finger. I could see his eyes (well...more the space where they are) It wasn't a big wave. More, he stretched out all his fingers and did a slight wave. But even the Dr and nurse were like "Did he just wave?!" haha He totally did! I was elated. My baby! My sweet baby boy!!!!! I held in the tears. Laughed, as I normally do when I feel the need to cry, and got dressed and headed out the door. I happened to be listening to my Josh Groban CD before I went in. As soon as I turned on the car, his song You Are Loved, came on. I started bawling my eyes out! I had been sad that the baby wasn't a girl. In reality, I still hope and pray for a girl. BUT! I am now 100% in love with this little man! There are no doubts in my mind that I won't love him because he's another rambunctious, loud, fast moving little boy! Am I still overwhelmed? Oh yes! Very much so! But I'm so very happy and in love! God saw fit to bless with me with a miracle! And he's healthy and active and he loves me and I him! I cried all the way to pick up my other two little boys who have stolen my heart! Some people may say I'm wishy washy or can't make up my mind. Or that I'm ungrateful. The truth is, yes! I am! Because I'm human! I have feelings that I have to sort through. I just feel okay being open and honest about those feelings. I get judged quite frequently, but it's the price you pay of being honest. This miracle is precious to me! And even when I was sad, he was still precious to me. It's just that I had to adjust to a plan that wasn't really mine. haha! But now seeing my little monkey and watching him interact and even feeling him move occasionally, I'm so very much in love! I still get offended when people tell me I'm destined to be a boy Mom or that I make such a great Boy Mom, because I'm a great mom period. Regardless of having boys or not. And one day I really hope to be more than just a boy mom. But for now, this is where God wants me and I couldn't be happier. I still pray that one day we have that little girl that has my hair and looks like her Daddy. But for now? For today. I'm excited to meet my new little man and see who he looks most like! Maybe he'll even have red hair! A girl can dream! ;-) (For the record I have Irish in me and red hair, Hubby's Mother is a bright natural red head....I'm hopeful!)
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